My plans for the holiday weekend were to move into our new home. The first closing date we were given was June 29th. Then the 30th. Then July 2nd. Now, Tuesday. We communicated everything we knew to the builder’s agents, the closing attorney’s agent, the lender’s agents, and the realtor’s team, including that we had set up utilities and homeowner’s insurance starting with closing date #1, changed it all to closing date #2, hired movers for yesterday and had family coming to help move yesterday, had appliances to be delivered yesterday, TV and internet being transferred yesterday, all of our mail forwarded to a locked mailbox we cannot access until we get keys for the home we’re trying to buy . . . (I’m happy to report that since Hallmark refuses to update my last name since I remarried double-digit years ago, that mail resisted being forwarded and I got it here at the apartment).

You know who cares about all of the work we did to move in this weekend as scheduled? Pete and me. That’s it. Well, also our family who was coming up and our friends who are pretty excited about having the most awesome neighbors ever. None of our planning and inconveniences make a damn bit of difference to a lot of things we’ve learned about buying new construction, some of which I will share here because I have little else to do this weekend and also, I’d like to inform people about things we’ve learned that I wish we’d been told as we went through this process so we’d have known that basically, the lender sets the closing date, at least in this purchase. No wonder people are so excited about cash offers. I thought they were just excited to meet folks with a lot of money and not have to work about prequalification and credit reports and such.

The paperwork we got with the June 29th closing date was from a builder’s rep who has been fantastic, and the paperwork says, “This document serves as notice to the Home Buyer(s) that closing for the home you are purchasing is planned for June 29, 2021. The closing administrator from our attorney’s office will contact you to confirm the exact time . . . This closing notification is subject to unforeseen circumstances that may delay this date.” This was May 14th, and yes, I noticed that ” unforeseen circumstances may delay this date,” but (1) we’ve bought and sold a few homes since 2005 and the ONLY time a closing date ever got delayed for us was in 2008, when everything in real estate went to shit.

We emailed all those folks I mentioned above to let them know we had a closing date. At some point, we responsibly set up utilities and homeowner’s insurance, as we always do when purchasing a home, so we can take a hot shower when we move in, among other things. I understand now that buying a new-construction home is different, because nobody is moving out of that house on the day we move in and making sure to disconnect utilities simultaneously. So I probably didn’t need to bother setting up utilities that we’re now paying for and not using. But I’d rather have them ready than move in and find out we don’t have water. And I try to keep that in mind when, for example, we were out there last night, and every single light was on, inside and out, in the home we don’t own and cannot enter anymore where we pay the electric bill since 06/30g. The fans are even running on the front and back porches. Go on over and cool off . . . on us. I’m not calling to reschedule the utilities again for a closing that I’m not sure will ever happen.

I know it sounds petty to complain about these little costs when we’re talking about (so far) a delay of only a week. I feel very much like Steve Martin’s character in Father of the Bride, ripping open packages of hot dog buns because the stress and costs just got to be too much as they piled up. But the people who initially said, “Oh, just don’t reschedule the utilities again from Wednesday to Friday,” – and now closing is NEXT WEEK, I remind you – are not the people who have to pay the mortgage and the closing costs and the movers and buy boxes (even though we stockpiled every box we found for almost a year) and packing supplies and who bought snacks and paper products for the movers and family to come this past Friday/Saturday who did not come because there was no move. I am always about to cry and/or yell lately. I’m a good time.

Weeks after May 14th, we became informed about a lot of stuff the lender cannot accomplish until certain things are accomplished by the builder. Apparently, the appraisal the lender needs cannot happen until there is a Certificate of Occupancy, and electricity has to be turned on for that to happen, I think. Our impression was that everyone was rushing to make these things happen for what had become a Friday, July 2nd, closing. That would still work for us with everything we had arranged.

There was some mention of a re-appraisal, and I kept asking how much money to bring to closing (because that kind of money is a big deal for us), and then, on Thursday, I got a Closing Disclosure document. It resembles a settlement statement and it told me how much money to bring to closing and I thought, this must be it! We’re on our way now! And then we were told that this document must arrive 3 days before closing, so . . . now we could not close for THREE MORE DAYS. Although I have asked, nobody has told me why we were repeatedly given closing dates that could not possibly happen since we did not have this document. I think everyone involved – except Pete and me – should have known about this law that we’re told cannot be waived. I think they did know, but nobody thought to tell us, and nobody wants to raise their hand and say, “Oh, yeah, I knew that,” when we are livid and disappointed because once again, everything is getting moved and now it’s the worst of the delays because it goes to the following week and we have to move the movers and the family and the appliances and the TV/internet installation and . . .

So, here we are, a three-day weekend that was to be spent with family and friends in our new home, and instead it’s just looking at boxes in our new apartment. I’d go to the gym for lack of anything else to do and to blow off some steam, but my workout clothes and shoes are missing (in a box somewhere). Pete is working hard, as usual, since he agreed to fill in two days next week on the radio not knowing he’d also have a closing next week, and appliance delivery, and be preparing for a move, all while still doing his regular podcast job. My boss is out, which is lucky for me since I’ll work only part of some days next week IF we actually get to buy the house. It’s also lucky for Boss since I have been completely inconsolable and insufferable as our dream has become so difficult to achieve. I’ve had trouble sleeping, and my finger has begun peeling and cracking again.

I don’t know that we could have asked better questions, because we did not know the things we did not know. We have never bought a house that wasn’t an existing home. It would have been very good of the people who knew better to tell us, “Understand that until you get the Closing Disclosure, you will not under any circumstances close until three days past that date.” When I kept asking how much to bring to closing, that would have been a good time for the lender to say, “I’d love to tell you, but the builder doesn’t have electricity or a C.O. yet, and until we have those things, I can’t get an appraisal, and without an appraisal, we don’t move forward, and beyond that, let me tell you about the limits of the Closing Disclosure, which is where you’ll find out how much money to bring to closing . . .”

I pride myself on communicating. This blog is in part a representation of that and in part it’s my therapy and in part it’s me reaching out when I need to share (which I guess is also therapeutic) as opposed to the private therapeutic writing I do in my journal. (My soon-to-be-neighbor friend gave me a new journal because I’ve had so much to write about that I’m almost out of pages and I packed away my blank journals.)

Now, being proud of communicating doesn’t mean it’s done well, but I try. This process has given me further insight and empathy into my relationship with clients who sometimes have court delays they don’t understand, which we cannot predict or prevent; it’s led me to look into things clients don’t know and whether I am clear enough with making sure they know them. One that keeps coming to mind is that in North Carolina, you must be physically separated for 1 year + 1 day before you file for divorce, and you must file for divorce. One party has to actually take action to get divorced. I’ve had clients come to us years after separation, sometimes with a new wedding date scheduled to someone else, who just found out when they went to get a marriage license, for example, that they never divorced the prior spouse. So I always try to explain that very clearly and mark our calendar for the 1-year date of separation anniversary to contact the client again and ask, “Do you want to get divorced?” I hope this experience will lead the folks involved with our purchase to recognize ways they can communicate better . . . but given the questions I’m still not getting answers to, I’m not incredibly optimistic.

Meanwhile, the moving team has thus far been great when we had to reschedule them on short notice, and we look forward to meeting them Saturday. Moving Company – Trinity Moving (trinitymovers.org)

On the other hand, if you ever have to reschedule a delivery with Lowe’s, just go to the store. I have spent 2+ hours of my life (yes, I counted the minutes – then hours – on hold) and even when I finally reached a great human in Lenoir, NC, on one call, I got automated texts, emails, and calls indicating he never rescheduled the delivery. Ah, Lowe’s. Dad and I are very disappointed in you.

We went to our new neighborhood last night (hence, the photo) for a cookout at our friends’ house, which was almost as fun as if we’d gotten to just walk down the street to attend, and we got invited to beautiful Madison County tonight for another. People have been very kind to us this weekend in light of everything that did not happen as planned. We had invitations from Oakboro, ATL, and Rock Hill. We appreciate all of you and look forward to traveling again when we have more than the same week’s worth of clothes available to keep rewashing.

I hope to write next from our new home. If not, I might write to you from jail, because come Saturday, we’re moving to that neighborhood one way or another. Do any locksmiths read this blog?

Happy Independence Day, also. It’s a beautiful day today, I saw some beautiful fireworks last night, I hope all of your animals are safe and not terrified by what sounds like a rocket attack to them, and I hope we all have a happy and safe weekend.