The enneagram (https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions) is a fascinating insight into yourself.  My top 3 enneagram types are helper, loyalist, and peacemaker.  I think all three of them factor into why it bothers me so much that for the last approximately four years, I have watched friends call other friends racists and accuse them of violence against LGBTQ folk, among other things, because they voted for Trump for President of the United States.  I am done arguing the merits of these positions.  I am done arguing about a president I did not vote for.  I have never encouraged anyone to like him, or to vote for him, or to hate him with the blind rage that has led so many people to forget various good qualities in the people they know who voted for him. There are a myriad of reasons why people make the choices they do in the voting booth, and the tough pill to swallow is that it is the right of each person to vote for whomever they chose for whatever reason they deem worthy, just as much as it is the right of each person not to vote at all. We may disagree with the choice not to vote or the selection on the ballot, but it’s not our business. That’s how it works.

People have shown that they are willing to terminate relationships that were once deep and enduring – relationships that have lasted decades and beyond – for someone who won’t even be in office as long as those relationships they just killed.  Whatever DJT actually does will fade with time or be undone by the next president. If he had actually built the wall (Have you noticed? He didn’t.), the next president could just tear it down. Not to mention the modest understanding I have of government being that we have three branches run by lots more people than just the one president, which is a fantastic way to ensure that even if he is the reincarnation of Hitler, he isn’t likely to get away with much without the cooperation of a lot of other people – those people being everyone else in government who has to agree to whatever he wants to do. I haven’t noticed a lot of agreement in government on . . . anything. Ever. In my life. No matter who was President.

I don’t understand how we’re at a point where I am not going to tell people who I vote for anymore. Not because I think I might vote for Trump and endure every bit of venom I’ve seen directed at so many people I love since 2016-ish.  Not because a friend left the table when we disagreed about my vote for governor.  But because those examples and others have shown me that there is rarely understanding anymore, and that other people mistakenly think it is their prerogative to tell other people that they voted wrong.  It’s too much of a risk to figure out whether I’m talking to someone who says, “Hey, free country, we have four political parties and half of them might win – your vote is as worthy is as mine,” or whether I’m talking to someone who might say, “Your vote tells me what a hater you are. Don’t even bother explaining.  Just unfriend me.”

How did we get here?  How have we elected a Black President and legalized gay marriage and learned to understand and become considerate of pronouns and fluid genders only to be shut-upped and ostracized because we voted for someone else?  I understand that electing Barack Obama didn’t end racism, and gay marriage is still not as secure as it needs to be, and there is a whole lot of work to be done on the gender stuff.  But there is also a whole lot of work to be done on tolerance, and seeking to understand, and remembering who people are and not exiling them from our lives over A TEMPORARY ELECTION. AN ELECTION THAT HAPPENS EVERY FOUR YEARS.  I understand the power of the presidency.  And the vice presidency.  And the senate.  And the governor.  And on and on and on.  But the power that concerns me most these days is the destructive judgment in personal relationships, leading friends and family to personally attack each other for making a different choice.  That is a divisive, cruel, door-slamming power. It is irreparably harming relationships.

Earlier this year, cops marched with BLM protesters (https://people.com/crime/police-join-protesters-marches-across-country/).  That is finding a common goal amidst a huge chasm. It was beautiful, powerful, and healing.  Calling your friends and family violent, ignorant bigots over a guy who will be out of office no later than 01/01/2025 is not.  And it very well might push those friends and family farther to the right when dialogue and a sincere attempt to understand could have brought them closer to the middle ground.

The president will never be as powerful as the love and hate we feel for each other down here in the real world.  The president is an office. He will do his time and move on. What will be left for us?