People will show you how much you matter to them.

This keeps occurring to me during my farewell tour from Charlotte. And it goes both ways, of course.  There are people I haven’t seen, and people who haven’t seen me.  There are people I’ve been in touch with and people I haven’t.  Sometimes it’s just life, and sometimes it’s a slight.  Sometimes it’s fluid perspective, not an indisputable fact about where the relationship actually stands.

I still feel inclined to explain (defend) myself when it comes to the move and job change, but I’m getting better about it. My therapist brought me some helium balloons last night to symbolize me being light and free, letting go.  I am confident in what I have done here – which is my absolute best.  The only thing I could have done better for some is to stay, and that was no longer an option I was willing to entertain.

One of the happiest and saddest things about moving is finding out how much you mean to people, and how much they mean to you. How much you will miss them and be missed.  I have been given hugs, kisses, gifts, cards, dinners, parties, offers to help move, promises to visit, offers of lodging when I visit my hometown…

I am confident enough to know that these people are enough for me, and I feel no voids left by the people who are scarcely aware that I’m moving on.

I haven’t felt this self-assured since I was in college, probably. But I think this self-assuredness is a lot more intelligent, experienced, and well-rounded than it was 20+ years ago.

I wouldn’t mind having that college body back, though. The wining and dining of this farewell tour added to decades of a sedentary lifestyle, poor eating habits, and a middle-aged metabolism are looking awful in photos lately.

But improving my physical health is on the agenda for the “new life.” Stay tuned for my appearance in Sports Illustrated’s Average Woman’s Swimsuit Edition!